Lots and Lots of Firetrucks

So recently I went through an amazing retreat called the happening. It was the best weekend of my life. I've met some of my best friends there and allowed my relationship in Christ to grow tremendously. I've really been thinking a lot lately and I really need to start keeping my priorities straight. Also I need to remember the little things. The little things are so important, because if you can't appreciate and thank God for the little things, how can you appreciate the big things.
Some of my favorite little things:
Butterflies
Chacos
Enos
Music
Friends
Christmas Lights
Turkeys
Cell Phones
I could go on some more but that wouldn't be fun for you.
Christmas is seriously right around the corner.... 25 days away... Crazy. I'm so excited though, because that means no more geometry. I used to love math, but I just can't stand geometry. I'm ready for the Christmas spirit and so much more. So this weekend I found out that I get to be a bridesmade in my Aunt's wedding over the summer. Did I mention the wedding is in Hawaii... Yeah, I'm excited. Over the past month or so a  person has walked into and out of my life... I'm so sick of sitting back and tolerating crap. I'm over it. I've learned that instead of  allowing that to happen, I need to confront them. But point aside, I've had a very great few months and it's kind of weird cause I haven't blogged in forever. I guess I should stop rambling... Byeeeeeeeeeeee

class of 1-4, we're better than jersey shore

Well school's here and it's crazy. Of course. It's so stressful with all the homework and studying but it's bringing me adventures. Along with this school year has come swim team. This is my first year to do school swim team and it's actually really fun. With this new school year have come new people. I've gotten super close to 2 or 3 new people and it means a lot to me. With some of those people I can just truly open up to and it makes things so much easier. We have friends to help us. And if you pick the right ones they'll always be there for you. God has truly blessed me. He has given me so much, these wonderful friends being one of those blessings. God is always here for me no matter what the circumstances. Lately I've really been thinking. It's really not necessary to hang out with a ton of people all the time. Or even anyone all the time. I've kinda gone into anti-social mode recently where I can juat sit with one person and talk for hours and not worry about anything. I've realized though, it's okay to do that. Stress always seems to be a big part of my life. No matter what. Weather it's shaving 4 seconds off my time for south state, talking to so and so, passing a test, finishing homework, or homecoming (geeze oh homecoming). But I've guess I just need to come up with better ways to handle the stress. I'm just really so glad that I have God and my friends to help me through everything. Okay, well byyyyeeeee bloggggaaaassssss! :*

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summer

i really can't believe summer is almost over. two. more. weeks. it's crazy. it doesn't feel like the end yet. i really haven't done much with my summer..... i've worked. that's about it. it's insane. i also went on a mission trip to tuscaloosa, al. that was awesome. i met some great people and it felt amazing to be able to work as the hands and feet of God. as i have mentioned before, summer is a time of change. big change. people go through there ups and downs.... i mean i even got my best friend back. the one i missed so much. it's amazing as to what a person can go through in two months. insane actually. it seems as though a lot of my friends have been going through a lot lately. it's been challenging times for them.... well let's just say i had those times at the beginning of the summer but now my life is going great. nice and smooth. but so many of my friends were there for me when others weren't there and i needed them most. so it does feel great to be able to help them get through there tough times. i really love helping people. it makes me feel great to know i did something good for someone else. one thing i have learned and really never thought of until this summer. TIME. time can do a lot. and most of the time, only time can tell. a lot of things that happen in our lives we have no control over. we can't change or fix them. but if you just wait. yes i said wait. so much will happen. i used to be the most impatient person you would ever meet and now i'm not. i have learned that time and waiting will do so much for you. because like i said we don't have a lot of control over things. i've also realized something else. i. do. not. want. to. grow. up. end of story. i love being a kid. i loved my child hood. i really miss not having to worry about a thing. my biggest concern would be my scraped knee. i miss when watching cartoons all day was appropriate. i miss being able to eat junk food all day. i miss being friends with everyone. i miss not having to worry about what my hair looked like. i miss all of that. there was no drama. boys were our best friends. and everything was simple. i miss it. i definitely cried when i saw the midnight premier of  harry potter. harry potter was huge when i was younger and i don't want it to end. not at all. i love harry potter. call me a nerd. i don't care. and while i'm talking about the not wanting to grow up thing, i reallllyyy want to see winnie the pooh. and no one wants to see it with me. ugh. within the past two weeks i have gotten really close to probably 2 or 3 different people and they are starting to make a big part of my life. i really love it though. i love bringing new amazing people to my life. it really is awesome. i'm not the type of kid who hangs out with the same five people everyday. i have a bunch of different friends and it's great. all through my life i've always heard the saying everything will be better in the end. okay honestly i never believed it.... but i'm going to sit here and tell you that it is absolutely true. i promise. no joke. God works in strange and awesome ways. so just give everything to him and he will fix it. seriously. everything works out. i have proof.

spin like a record crazy on a sunday night

Well hey people who actually read my blog. I was in the bloggin mood so I hope you can handle this long and rambling blog. I've come to the conclusion that all I do is work. Seriously. But besides the stress of swim team it's totally worth it. You wanna know why? PAYDAY! Heck yes. It makes working 50 hours in two weeks totally worth it. I love being independent I guess you could call it. I always have money for random food runs or shopping and I love not ever having to ask my mom for money. Because my parents have raised me to believe and I agree with, that if I don't need it or it's a necessity or a gift for something I have to buy it myself. I feel like I've grown a lot recently. All around kinda grown. Like I feel more mature especially after working so much and dying a strip of my hair blue last night. I feel like a changed person too. I've learned a lot recently just with some of the stuff I've been through. I've also grown like 3 inches in maybe 2 months. I'm going on a mission trip with the church next week and I really feel like it's going to be amazing and help me in so many ways. It's going to make me feel awesome and bring me closer to God by being able to help people. It'll give me something to focus on and take my mind off everything that's been going on. It'll take me away from Gulfport for a while (heck yes). It'll just help a whole lot. Recently I've just had a whole lot on my mind all the time. Like a crazy amount of stuff and it's ridiculous. I can't think straight anymore. I've been riding my bike a lot lately and it helps a good bit. Today I rode for 2 hours th my best friend and we had a heart to heart and it really made a lot better. You never realize how much you have on your mind and heart till you find someone you can tell everything to and just let go. It's amazing. Swim team is now a big part of my life. And I love it. I love being able to teach kids how to swim, it's actually kinda cool. It's nice to actually have some authority now, cause I remember when I was a little kid how bad I was at swim team and how mean the coaches were. Swim team has actually brought me some new really close friends and it's pretty cool. I really have come to the realization that I HATE things I don't understand. And it's becoming a big part of my life. Someone will do something and you just don't understand why they would do that. But then again not many people do understand it. But we tolerate it. "You tolerate me for a reason." One of my own quotes and it's amazing how much it means. Really think about it. How often do we tolerate one of our friend's stupid mistakes or one of their dumb jokes or mean comments... It's out of love. You wouldn't tolerate them if you didn't love them. It was one of the reasons I held on to my best friend for so long. No matter what happened we tolerated each other for a reason...... Deep down that reason was love. Think. It makes sense. Okay, well bloggers maybe I should wrap up this rambling yet wonderful super early friday morning blog. Byeeeeeeee

exhausted

Going to bed late, waking up early. Working almost every day. Swim team everyday. Yelling at kids. Sunburn/ridiculous heat... It has finally hit me..... Exhaustion. It's horrible. I'm so tired I don't even know how I'm awake. And it's sad, I don't have a life. All I do is work. Seriously. If I'm not busing/waiting tables, I'm swim coaching. If I'm not doing either, I'm watching kids or cleaning the house. And if I have any free time at all it's usually swimming before swim team or reading my nook before bed. Oh well, it'll be worth it in the end.... I hope. But for the most part summer's been good. It's been busy and it's had its ups and downs. Summer is a time of change. You find out who your real friends are, you change the way you act, you learn new things, you change your way of life. But really think... You really change your friendships. You lose friends (even maybe your best friend), you make friends, you find out who's been there for you, who hasn't, and you find out what kind of friends you really need, and you put yourself into the right crowd. After a while you realize, it really is all for the better. It may seem hard at first, but everything gets better. Everything is better in the end, and if it's not better, it's not the end. Really think, and remember God is NEVER going to put you through something you can't handle. And if you think you can't handle it, you're not letting God into it. So let go and let God.

it's a voice inside your head that says just gooooo

whaddup bloggassss!!! summer is greattttt... it's my favorite time of year! i just got back from the buck trip the other day and it was soooo much fun! i love roller coasters now! to much stuff has been going down and i hate it. i cant stand unnecessary crap. i'm still in shock over losing my absolute best friend. but in the words of benjy davis it's a good thing. it's a bad lie, it's a voice inside your head that says just gooo, it's a mistake, it's a lesson, it's a heartbreak, it's a blessin. no matter how much i don't understand about all of this i know God's not going to give me more than i can handle so i should just leave it alone.... i mean there's nothing i can do at this point so whatever...  my summer is going to be packed! between work, babysitting, coaching swim team, lake junaluska, the happening, more work, i don't even know if i'll have time to just chill. i am obsessed with harry potter worlddddd! best place ever!  it is summer and i've never been so stressed... this is insaneeeeee.....  ahhhhhh! i made annual staff for next year, and i'm so excited!  well bloggers i should probably wrap up the wonderful friday night blog....  byeeeeeeeeee

and did you miss me when you were looking for yourself out there?

It's finally summmmmerrrrr! It still hasn't even hit me yet. But that's not the point of this blog. I honestly never knew how much crap you could take from a person and still love them / tolerate them. But sometimes it really becomes ridiculous.You know that saying "you never know what you have, till it's gone"? yeah, that's gonna kick in within the week. I never knew someone I once called my best friend could be such a jerk. How do you throw a friendship down the drain? And because of this jerkiness I have lost my best friend.  But now that I sit here and think about it, maybe it's for the better. It's all in God's plan. Right now I just really need to let go and let God. Sorry bloggers, I know you probably don't care about this.... but oh well.